communication

JUST LISTEN​

Posted on by SHY


Hello, my lovebugs. It has been a long time. I say about a year since we have last chatted. Life has kept me busy. I do miss spilling my guts on my little piece of the internet, but I have, as of late, been doing that on my Insta-stories on Instagram. If you chose to, you could follow me Instagram.com/5incere is where you can find me most days. From discussing a little bit of pop culture but I mainly just talk about nothing and everything lol. Okay, now that I got that out the way, let us discuss why we are really here.

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with a loved one. The love bug was venting about their grievances with work, and life itself. Something I think many, including myself, can relate to. While the love bug was venting, I automatically went into action mode. Trying to figure out a way to help them fixed the problem. I also may sure to tell them I had advised them about a method that could work in their favor years ago, but they chose to not listen, and because of that, they are still at a crossroads regarding what has them troubled. The loved one then commented, ” I am sorry to be venting to you and making all this trouble,” I am paraphrasing, but ultimately that what they said. I reassured the love bug that it was no trouble at all. I was just trying to help. The conversation changed, and we eventually got off the phone. A few days later, I went over what happened in my head, and I realize something. The loved one just wanted me to listen. Then I kept continued to on this thought and come up with the notion most people just want you to hear without responding.

Just think for a moment…have you ever called a friend to vent and was irritated when they offered unsolicited advice? I will be frank here I have never been irritated when this happened to me. I vent not only to get it off my chest but also to get the listener’s opinion, but I am finding that everyone doesn’t want that. Some people, no matter the circumstance, just want a listening ear, not a fixer or someone who is going to criticize them. As much as I thought I was helping them, I may have harmed the way the love bug communicates with me. Because of that, I am going to use better discernment while being the listening ear to make sure advice or me getting in problem-solving mode is what is needed at the moment.  Some people need help, the problem solver, but sometimes they want you to just listen. Let’s make sure we know which one is required before we do it to keep our conversations between our loved ones a safe space.

 

Sincerely,

Shyla

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EVERYONE HAS THE SAME 24 HOURS

Posted on by SHY


Hey there my beautiful loves. I am not going to beat around the bush…..yes everyone has the same 24 hours and we make time for what we feel are important.

Now you may asked what made me think of this. Well it is something that kept occurring or shall I say KEEP OCCURRING in my personal life.

So last week I text someone a nice and friendly ” Good Morning” as I was getting ready for work. Now between certain hours of the day I can be extremely busy when I am not able to check my messages.

Now that day a few hours had passed before I got the chance to check my messages and when I did there was not reply message.  

This is not new( me not getting a timely response) and any other day or maybe if it was someone else it probably would not of bothered me so much but today….honey….that irritated me!!!!

Later that evening I decided ….” what the hay..I will just call and see if we can chit-chat for a few minutes that may be a better method of communications.”

I called and the phone rang until voicemail came on. Now again like I stated earlier this action was not new. I am not always able to get a response from this individual in a timely manner. I do understand we have stuff going on.

Work, school, children, family as well as activities so I understand that everyone is busy. However, TOOOOODDDAAAAY the lack of acknowledgment irritated my soul. Really is it too much to asked for a reply to a simple ” Good Morning” text?

It is too much to asked for a call back just to say  ” Hey I got your message and missed your call but I was extremely busy at those times. I will call you back when I am free.” Please let me know if this is too much and that my expectations are too high.When I got home that evening and really thought about it. It cause me to write this blog entry.  

                  EVERYONE HAS THE SAME 24 HOURS.

                             POINT. BLANK. PERIOD.

In those 24 hours we do what we deemed to be important . This can cover a spectrum of things. In relationships we know communications and time spent are key components to a great relationship. Relationships that lack communications have a hard time succeeding .

That is why it is so important . I do not think anyone should go multiple days without talking to their mate. To be honest what man is going to allow a few days to pass without speaking to you. Most will be too afraid to let another man slide in and lose you. Because of that fact he will constantly text, call and visit you to let you know they are serious. 

Friendships are sort of the same way. Friends do not to have to talk everyday for the love to be there. However, the bond may be stronger if you do. I said all this to say that people make time for who and what they deemed important. Sometimes, I am sorry to say it may not include you. If it doesn’t chuck it up as a loss and keep pushing. We should never have to beg or pressure someone to make time for us especially when their actions show they really do not want to .In the meantime make sure you are making time for your loved ones. Invite them out. Send them a gift. You will be surprised how happy you will make them feel by showing them that you care. We all have the same 24 hours so lets spend it wisely.

Sincerely,

Shyla