No One Listens!

Happy Mother’s Days loves!

    Today we honor and appreciate you. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by a tribe of awesome  mothers who inspire me everyday. Many of  you coming from different walks in life yet all have the same goal to be the best mother you can be to your child/children. To raise respectful, loving and intelligent children( I know there is more but these 3 are the first that came to mind lol). To provide a stable and healthy home life. I thank you for showing that you can be a mother and also have a life. It was always thought when you become a mother your life is over. Many of you have shown me that being a mother is life altering but your life is not over. Cheers to each of you. 

If you are new to this blog you may not know that my mommy passed away in October of 2015. I briefly talk about it but never dedicated a whole blog post to it. For one it was too painful and I did not want to anyone to be sad.  I hardly discuss my feelings out loud because I truly believe no one really cares and barely listens. This is actually the purpose of the post today because I sometimes feel like no one listens to me when I speak. I mean many of you hear me but actual listen….not so much. A perfect example of this is what happened early today.

I woke up feeling ok. I told myself ” Shyla you aren’t going to cry this year. You got this. Be productive and keep your mind busy. If you happen to have a few tears fall its ok. Wipe them and keep going. NO FULL OUT CRYING SESSION!!!”  Yes I said that to myself ….crazy huh. Well as I was getting myself together…I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts….Fav Baby Mama( check out when you get a chance)…I received a notification from Facebook. My ex left a message on my wall. I thought it was odd considering he never leaves public messages…always in the inbox lol. Anywho…the message said and I quote…

” You’re on my mind knowing this is your first Mothers Day without her!

                           Stay in prayer and uplift his name for comfort!’

Now don’t get me wrong I do appreciate him thinking about me. I truly do. Everyone is busy and to be thought of is a beautiful thing but on the other hand this reinforced what I know…..NO ONE LISTENS TO ME!!. Dude how could you not know this is not my first mothers day without my mom!!!! I inboxed you, you responded with giving me your new number and told me to call you asap. I called, we talked, gave you the info of the arrangements everything. How could he not remember that. I mean we even talk after that. He was trying to rekindled what we had. Early this year being the most recent time. When I saw that…I lost it. I cried so hard not because I thought he should remember but because he did not listen to comprehend. He heard my lips moving heard a few details and didn’t remember the rest. Knowing that hurt me to the core yet he isn’t the only one. I see with my own eyes when I speak that some people arent listening just hearing my voice. Saying the occasional ” yeah” and ” okay” in the appropriate spots. Things like that can drive a person crazy and is the driving force why many go to therapy instead venting to friends and love ones. People would rather pay to have someone listens to them than to have someone pretend to. However, after writing this I  also realize that I have been that person as well. I am here to say that I  apologize. I said all this to say for those who feels like no one is listening… I understand…I been there and with some I am still there. If you can get a therapist who will listen without judgment and will keep notes lol. Everyone should have a person they can pour their heart out to and know that they are listening.







My Thoughts On 2016.

Happy 2017 my dearest loves. I am so sorry for the long break from blogging. I will be quite honest, I was extremely busy between school and work and just did not make the time. Well I am back now and ready to do a small 2016 review.

* Clears throat*…. 2016 was a very difficult year for me emotionally.I truly was all over the place. I did not know my up from down. I would be ok and just bust out crying. It had been too many time when I had to stop working to cry. If you didn’t know my mommy passed away late 2015. It was unexpected and shook my entire existence. I am honestly still ” not right” because of it but I’m striving each day to just make it throughout the day without having a crying fit. Now you understand why emotionally I was just not myself and it has been a journey to try to find my ” new normal”. I have not found it but with time I know it will come.

This year has also showed me that I am stronger than I ever imagine. I never thought I was a strong person but it wasn’t until the deaths of my uncle and my mommy 6 days from each other I know I had to try to be. Nothing prepares you for all the emotions you will experience after losing someone you love. However, I will encourage anyone who lost someone do not run from your feelings. Cry, shout, scream, yell, get those emotions out. Talk to someone whether it be a friend, family or a therapist. When I was having the hardest time which was this past summer.I decided to see a therapist. We did not have many sessions because of my schedule however, when I did talk to her it help me tremendously. She made me feel ok for feeling how I was feeling. I was on the brink of everything falling apart but those few sessions pulled me back together. I plan to seek out another therapist because I believe that there are a few more things in my life that can be worked out.

I did some traveling. I went to Chicago, Miami, Bahamas, Ohio and Negril, Jamaica. Do not worry I plan to blog about Jamaica because it was the best trip I took to date. These trips were just what I needed. Each of the trips I have taken gave me a peace that I was seeking that I would not of experience without having them.

In all my 2016 was not all that exciting but it was an experience. I learn so much about myself and those around me. I have a great circle of people who I love and trust and vice-versa.  My goal for 2017 is to not live in fear. My mother death cause me to be fearful. I was secretly moving different because of that. I cannot do that any longer. I going to be fearless for 2017. I am going to step out on faith in areas I am petrified. I ready for the next chapter and plan to make it a great one. I hope each of you do the same. #BeFearless2017




Hey there my beautiful loves. I am not going to beat around the bush…..yes everyone has the same 24 hours and we make time for what we feel are important.

Now you may asked what made me think of this. Well it is something that kept occurring or shall I say KEEP OCCURRING in my personal life.

So last week I text someone a nice and friendly ” Good Morning” as I was getting ready for work. Now between certain hours of the day I can be extremely busy when I am not able to check my messages.

Now that day a few hours had passed before I got the chance to check my messages and when I did there was not reply message.  

This is not new( me not getting a timely response) and any other day or maybe if it was someone else it probably would not of bothered me so much but today….honey….that irritated me!!!!

Later that evening I decided ….” what the hay..I will just call and see if we can chit-chat for a few minutes that may be a better method of communications.”

I called and the phone rang until voicemail came on. Now again like I stated earlier this action was not new. I am not always able to get a response from this individual in a timely manner. I do understand we have stuff going on.

Work, school, children, family as well as activities so I understand that everyone is busy. However, TOOOOODDDAAAAY the lack of acknowledgment irritated my soul. Really is it too much to asked for a reply to a simple ” Good Morning” text?

It is too much to asked for a call back just to say  ” Hey I got your message and missed your call but I was extremely busy at those times. I will call you back when I am free.” Please let me know if this is too much and that my expectations are too high.When I got home that evening and really thought about it. It cause me to write this blog entry.  

                  EVERYONE HAS THE SAME 24 HOURS.

                             POINT. BLANK. PERIOD.

In those 24 hours we do what we deemed to be important . This can cover a spectrum of things. In relationships we know communications and time spent are key components to a great relationship. Relationships that lack communications have a hard time succeeding .

That is why it is so important . I do not think anyone should go multiple days without talking to their mate. To be honest what man is going to allow a few days to pass without speaking to you. Most will be too afraid to let another man slide in and lose you. Because of that fact he will constantly text, call and visit you to let you know they are serious. 

Friendships are sort of the same way. Friends do not to have to talk everyday for the love to be there. However, the bond may be stronger if you do. I said all this to say that people make time for who and what they deemed important. Sometimes, I am sorry to say it may not include you. If it doesn’t chuck it up as a loss and keep pushing. We should never have to beg or pressure someone to make time for us especially when their actions show they really do not want to .In the meantime make sure you are making time for your loved ones. Invite them out. Send them a gift. You will be surprised how happy you will make them feel by showing them that you care. We all have the same 24 hours so lets spend it wisely.











I hope each of you are enjoying the holiday with the ones you love while eating good food.

My family and I decided to visit our relatives on my maternal grandmother side for the holiday.

.After many years of discussing going to visit we finally made it a plan in February to visit this weekend .

Man when I tell you I’m so glad we did! Those few days with them meant so much.

Mainly because we only would see each other during the time a family member has went on to glory.

I know that this is many families story but I’m glad we decided to try get away from that and see each other. Here is a few pictures of our visit.














P.S. I can now be reached by email The email can be used for business inquiries, blog topics as well advice I am here to answer any questions you may have.Be Blessed.

Happy Fathers Day




In honor of this wonderful occasion I decided to do something different. I asked a dear friend of mine to write this blog entry. I know you will love it just like I did. Please welcome Ms. Keitaya Lockett!


A week prior to Mother’s Day, my father and I were briefly discussing our family’s plans for the holiday.

My mother, who is a diabetic and showing early signs of dementia due to two strokes, never forgets Mother’s Day and was excited about the dinner reservations that I had yet to make.

After a huge sigh, my father reluctantly asked me where we were going for dinner. He hates the crowds, noise and the long waits.

He would much prefer to throw a few steaks on the grill and spend Sunday afternoon washing his car, manicuring his lawn and relaxing on the front porch, admiring the fruits of his labor.

Regardless of his preferences, I babbled on about how I’ve called a dozen high-end restaurants, who were offering astounding buffet brunches with outstanding prices to match, $50 per adult.

I also reminded him that his two beautiful granddaughters, ages 12 and 14 no longer count as “children” in the eyes of the restaurateur and would also be obligated to pay the full price.

I think I said too much. He began to ramble on about how Mother’s Day is one of the busiest days for restaurants and how he’s tired of the hoopla. “You can get into any restaurant on Father’s Day with no problem.”
That resonated with me long after we hung up. Why is it that children race home from school, eager to present their homemade cards and potted plants for mom and empty-handed in the middle of June for dad?

There are many schools in the Metro Detroit area that dismiss for the summer right before Father’s Day or are still in session after Father’s Day.Why can’t dad get any love on his special day? Well, there are two main reasons:

                                     FATHER’S DON’T CARE!


Father’s don’t make a big deal out of their holiday like mother’s do. A pat on the back is appreciated but not necessary.A good father is secure with his position, capability and responsibility. Point. Blank. Period.
                             ONE BAD APPLE SPOILED THE BUNCH!



The baby daddy phrase is so common now that I’m unsure if it’s still used as negative connotation or just for lack of better terms, like father.

Unfortunately, there are mothers and fathers alike who don’t appreciate the gift of parenthood and choose not to be a part of their children’s lives.

However, fathers are singled out more than absentee mothers. Instead of father’s day being recognized for its true intent, to acknowledge and appreciate the paternal parent, it has regrettably turned into a day to demean absentee fathers and put mothers on a pedestal who believe that they are doing a superior job of being both mother and father.

It is not uncommon nowadays for single mother’s to receive “happy father’s day” text messages and phone calls from their peers, in an attempt to magnify the fact that their child’s father isn’t present or isn’t living up to their standards of good parenting.

Instead of focusing so much on fathers being truant, we should honor the fathers, uncles, grandfathers and brothers who joyfully take an active role in a child’s life, whether it’s their child or someone else’s.

My biological father was a wonderful parent, even though he and my mother separated when I was four years old. He passed away in 2006 but I value all the efforts that he made from hundreds of miles away to show me the same love that he would have shown me if he were still in the household.

My step-father, whom I do call by name but recognize as my father, to adequately supply all the respect that he deserves, equally stepped up to the plate and assisted my mother in rearing me: educationally, financially and spiritually.

So thanks Mike, and thank you to all the fathers who don’t get recognize on Father’s Day or any other day.

Your efforts of love and commitment to your sons and daughters don’t go unnoticed. I

f you choose to dress to nines and be escorted out for an over-priced dinner or kick back with some lemonade at a classic car show, let’s do it.

It’s your day and we will never take it away from you again. 



The Dreaded Question.

wedding1The summer is almost here loves and of course love is in full bloom.

This is the season where many of us get wedding announcements or invites.

This is a very special time for many especially the bride and groom.

However, for a single gal like me it can be stressful.

It is not that I am not happy for  the  future Mr.and Mrs., it’s because I always get asked the dreaded question….


rolling eye gif

Ok Let me be quite honest with you…THAT QUESTION IRRITATES MY SOUL!!

Mainly because it reminds me that I am indeed not married yet.

It also reminds me that I am childless and not married!!!!!


Because of that hearing that darn gone question all the time it actually hits a sour spot in me.

I guess the reason is because this is not how I envision my life. 

I pictured myself being happily married with kids and a booming career.

We are living in a nice size house which hosts many holidays functions as well as barbecues.

I imagine my honey and I taking couple trips around the world a few times out the year to keep our marriage spicy(wink).

Of course a few family trips so the chicadees wouldn’t feel left out.

I had this elaborate dream on how I wanted my family life to look and its so far from it.

I do know our plan and Gods plan can differ drastically and sometimes we can mess up our future by mistakes and bad choices.

However, I often ponder did I miss out on my happily ever after chasing what I thought it was?


Did I not chose my husband because he was not what I picture him to be or am I dealing with men who are currently blocking him from claiming his spot?

All these thoughts have come in to my head as well as the bigger question….



I mean I do think I am an awesome woman.

A good catch for any man but truthfully if I am all that…again….WHY AM I SINGLE!?

So when I get asked the question ” Shyla why aren’t you married yet and what are you waiting on” it hits me to my core.

It’s a personal struggle I deal with daily because it is something I yearn and desire.

So if you are one of the individuals who like to asked single ladies why aren’t they married yet be mindful that is could well be a touchy subject to them.

Some of us are trying to do the right thing by not settling and making sure that we chose the right partner.

For some they get their happily ever after early in life while others like me we  get asked this question often until we do.