Hello, my lovebugs. It has been a long time. I say about a year since we have last chatted. Life has kept me busy. I do miss spilling my guts on my little piece of the internet, but I have, as of late, been doing that on my Insta-stories on Instagram. If you chose to, you could follow me Instagram.com/5incere is where you can find me most days. From discussing a little bit of pop culture but I mainly just talk about nothing and everything lol. Okay, now that I got that out the way, let us discuss why we are really here.

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with a loved one. The love bug was venting about their grievances with work, and life itself. Something I think many, including myself, can relate to. While the love bug was venting, I automatically went into action mode. Trying to figure out a way to help them fixed the problem. I also may sure to tell them I had advised them about a method that could work in their favor years ago, but they chose to not listen, and because of that, they are still at a crossroads regarding what has them troubled. The loved one then commented, ” I am sorry to be venting to you and making all this trouble,” I am paraphrasing, but ultimately that what they said. I reassured the love bug that it was no trouble at all. I was just trying to help. The conversation changed, and we eventually got off the phone. A few days later, I went over what happened in my head, and I realize something. The loved one just wanted me to listen. Then I kept continued to on this thought and come up with the notion most people just want you to hear without responding.

Just think for a moment…have you ever called a friend to vent and was irritated when they offered unsolicited advice? I will be frank here I have never been irritated when this happened to me. I vent not only to get it off my chest but also to get the listener’s opinion, but I am finding that everyone doesn’t want that. Some people, no matter the circumstance, just want a listening ear, not a fixer or someone who is going to criticize them. As much as I thought I was helping them, I may have harmed the way the love bug communicates with me. Because of that, I am going to use better discernment while being the listening ear to make sure advice or me getting in problem-solving mode is what is needed at the moment.  Some people need help, the problem solver, but sometimes they want you to just listen. Let’s make sure we know which one is required before we do it to keep our conversations between our loved ones a safe space.




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  1. Barbara · October 31, 2019

    This is a good reminder to be a good listener to gain understanding of what’s being communicated and what’s being asked of you. Sometimes we’re a sounding board and others times we’re there for advive or other actions. Thanks Shla

    • SHY · October 31, 2019

      Thank you for the comment. I appreciate the feedback .

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