New Year……New Direction!!!

Yes,2012 is almost here and I couldn’t be any happier!!! This year has very rough on me! In January I buried my grandmother! In February my dear friend passed away! In march my mother suffered a heart attack!! Months later one of my coworker died! Now I am here in December with so many emotions that if I allowed myself to continue to cry,my tears would fill up an ocean! I know very dramatic yet very real! I have concluded that God didn’t allow things to happen to me to break me! Instead it was to strength me! God allowed certain people to hurt me so I could ultimately let them go! God didn’t want me to go into the new year with dead weight!! Now the tears I cried made my vision clear!!! I have a new direction…..and it all leads to ME!!!!!! I have spent too much time attending to everyone else needs while neglecting my own! I will not do that anymore! I will also continue the road to make my relationship with God stronger!!! I know my God is a jealous God and will remove things/people out of your life that is hindering the relationship you have with him!!! I know I have a long road to go but with fasting and praying I will get there! So I have no new years resolution just a new focus, a new direction, a new perspective…..and most importantly A NEW ME!!!!


My fondest Christmas memory

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!!!!! When I sit here and think about my fondest Christmas memory one comes to mine!!!! I had to be about 12 years old! My grandmother call the house to talk to me! Which was odd because we didn’t talk much on the phone at the time! During the conversation we talked about general stuff and eventually the real reason she called came up!

Grandma: Now you know there is no Santa right?…….Which I did…last year I found what my mother had bought us in the basement on accident but me being a kid I said I will roll with it!

Me: Really grandma?!? I didn’t know that!….I know why my grandmother did that! She knew first hand how hard my mother worked to provide a stable household for my sisters and I!! Then here comes the holidays which also put another financial burden on her! So my grandma thought she would help her out by telling me there was no Santa so she would not have to buy as many gifts!!!

Grandma: Yes there is no Santa….you all don’t have no chimney how do you think you get those gifts!?!

Me: Through the window!

Grandma: Crickets………

Me: Grandma……grandma….are you there!?!

Grandma: If you like to make a call please hang up and try again!!!!!

This woman had hung up the phone on me lol!!! My grandma was good for hanging up on you if she doesn’t like what you had to say!!!. That is my fondest Christmas memory what are yours????? Please share!!!!!

Fmot @basicshy

Christmas Blues

So it’s the night before Christmas and truthfully I am not full of cheer! Yes I do realize that tomorrow is my JESUS birthday!! I celebrate his birthday all the time! I give praises to his name daily so I know the importance of tomorrow! I am sad because tomorrow a tradition that was started before I was even thought of will not be carried out!! For over forty years…my family has gathered for Christmas and this year we will not be doing so! Well my Aunt is visiting her only son and his family this holiday season so I mean that is understandable but it was my mother that rocked the boat!!! While visiting my mom and siblings a few weeks back my mom dropped the bomb….she said ” I want to stay home for Christmas!!!!” In my head I was thinking….” Whatcha talking about Willis” lol…my actual response was ok!! She went on to she just wanted to relax and chill!! I’m thinking you can chill when we get back home LOL!!! I am not selfish…my mother has had a rough year! She has suffered a heart attack ,was not long ago diagnosed with copd…so I understand her need to rest! I am just going to miss being around my Aunts and cousins!! I will miss watching my Aunt Avie eating a hearty bowl of ice cream….KNOW DANG WELL SEE IS ALLERGIC TO IT….and her later BLOWING THE HELLLLLLOOOO out of someone’s bathroom! I always thank God she has only one episode of the motor city incident!! How anyone gets poop on the wall is beyond me LOL! I’ll miss watching movies together, playing the Chinese gift exchange….all that stuff!!! I know nothing can remain the same forever but this is one of those thing I wish did!! I just hoped this is a fluke and next year we will back to business… is to hoping!!!!

Fmot @basicshy

Traffic light to love

Today I had a few moments to think about some of our approaches to dating! Many of us as soon as we exiting one relationship, we jump back into another! Then later wonder why you keep having failed relationships! Because of this I came up with an idea on how to approach the dating scene! We will use the traffic light as our guide!!!


I know you are thinking traffic lights start with the green light! I agree it does but in dating you should never just shoot out there! For one you may get run over….LOL! I choose to start with the red light because before you date anyone, you should stop and ask yourself some hard questions! I..e…what am I looking for? What do I bring to the table? Am I emotional ready to let someone in? These are just few questions you can ask yourself before you start to date again! I say the most important one is make sure you are emotionally ready!


After you have asked yourself the questions from above and feel that its safe to enter the world of dating….proceed but with caution! This is the time when you just get your feet wet! Go on a date or two….nothing serious! You are still testing the waters! At the yellow light you will find out if you are really ready for this! If everything goes well then continue you on but as usually look both ways LOL!!!


You did it!!!!! Yay!!! You are have the green light so go baby!!! If you have reach here you ready to enter the dating realm!!! You are emotionally ready and are equipped to handle anything thrown your way with maturity! Meaning not allowing past incidents with your former suitors hinder your impeding relationship with another!

Well loves those are my thoughts on dating….what are yours?!? Please share!!!
Fmot @basicshy

Keep it strictly…..D…….kly

Yes….that is right!!! I can say lately on my feeds on Facebook and Twitter men have imposed the question on why women can’t keep a sexual relationship strictly sexual!!!….Really?!?….I guess men don’t realize that women…..well atleast most women are by nature more emotionally attached! When we have sexual intercourse with a man we like/love/care for them! Unlike men we don’t separate our feelings from our sex lives!!! Since the men wants us to….I thought I can give some pointers on how to keep emotions from arising in those kind of situations!.

(1) Don’t bring an overnight bag! Remember this is just about sex so when the do is done….do what the men do……SKATE OUT!!!!

(2). Don’t hold long conversations! You don’t need to hear about his day or if his business deal went through! This information he shares with a friend not you because you called on business! The business of getting down to business….YOU HEARD ME!!!!

(3) Absolutely no outings!!! Eating out…come on now….sounds like a date to me!!! If you are hungry grab a banana…and keep it moving! Besides bananas has potassium in them…..#energy

(4).Never meet up at your crib!! Why he does he need to know where you live!! ….UH UH…NOT GOING TO HAPPEN…*IN NEW NEW VOICE*….he might try to make unannounced visit which is a pet peeve of mine!

Ok ladies these are the 4 main golden rules to keep it strictly…..d….kly……feel free to add more…….


Better not bitter

The last few days has been a rollercoaster of emotions! These emotions have left me with many unanswered questions! Although I don’t want to blow anyone house up or their mouth anymore lol…the hurt is still there!!! I even was making some out of character post on Facebook and Twitter!!! While I was at my emotional high a young lady who also commented on a thread where I was cutting up made a statement that stuck in my head! She said….” Don’t be bitter be better”….hmmmmm?….I let that marinate in my brain so I can totally grasp this advice! As mad as I was….Sn: still am….I cannot allow this experience change me! Yes what has happen cannot be taken back!Although many apologies has been issued but I not ready to forgive yet!!! I know I will eventualy because I am too nice to hold a grudge forever!!! But for now ill just evaluate what I have learned and I concluded that although my feeling and ego is bruised….I will vow to be better not bitter!!!


I know by now you all have seen that acronym! Many of us has used it in our status on Facebook or in a tweet on Twitter! This acronym became very real to my girl this weekend!!! She gets a call from the dude she has been dating for years! He said the famous line ” We need to talk”.I said girl he may asked for you all to be official!! Officially in a titled relationship! With excitement in both of our voices waiting in anticipation to see what he has to say!! So I go on with my day waiting on a call from my girl! She calls I said hey hun….so are we officially in a relationship yet?!? She is crying! In between her sobs she tell me Darius has a six-week old child!! She began to tell me how the conversation went but all I heard…was ” BABY”…she said more…I still just heard….”he knew since the conception”!!! After she spilled the beans, she said she is getting her belongings from his house and they were through!!! All I could say is Dang!!!! These days nobody is loyal!!! You can pay for your partners bills, help get their car fixed, hold them down when they are unemployed but all that doesn’t matter! Sometimes you can do everything right by a person and still get pooped on!! I guess what I learned from her situation is what that acronym means….REMEMBER EVERYONE AIN’T LOYAL!

when you reduce the supply the demand increases

Today in church Pastor Kinloch gave a powerful sermon on being “Holy and Human!!! For the last few weeks, he has instilled strategies on how to accomplished this! This Sunday near the end of the sermon he said this phrase…” When you reduce your supply, you will increase your demand”. Now that stuck in my head! When I heard of that I related that to relationships many of us has experience!! Have you ever been in a relationship when you wanted to spend every waking moment with them! Your day isn’t great if you don’t see their face and by the time you do the passion between you all is so strong it could start a forest fire!!!! I am sure you have!! The question is when you are seeing them everyday, all day and night is the passion still there? For most the answer will be no! Why you asked? We desire things (in this case) people we don’t see as much! You will never appreciate anything if you have it everyday all day!!! I thought….wow! I guess the reason I wasn’t appreciated by men because I never gave them a reason too! I gave them too much too soon…so I made myself ordinary….instead of making myself rare!! I learned a great lesson from that!!….