Happy Fathers Day




In honor of this wonderful occasion I decided to do something different. I asked a dear friend of mine to write this blog entry. I know you will love it just like I did. Please welcome Ms. Keitaya Lockett!


A week prior to Mother’s Day, my father and I were briefly discussing our family’s plans for the holiday.

My mother, who is a diabetic and showing early signs of dementia due to two strokes, never forgets Mother’s Day and was excited about the dinner reservations that I had yet to make.

After a huge sigh, my father reluctantly asked me where we were going for dinner. He hates the crowds, noise and the long waits.

He would much prefer to throw a few steaks on the grill and spend Sunday afternoon washing his car, manicuring his lawn and relaxing on the front porch, admiring the fruits of his labor.

Regardless of his preferences, I babbled on about how I’ve called a dozen high-end restaurants, who were offering astounding buffet brunches with outstanding prices to match, $50 per adult.

I also reminded him that his two beautiful granddaughters, ages 12 and 14 no longer count as “children” in the eyes of the restaurateur and would also be obligated to pay the full price.

I think I said too much. He began to ramble on about how Mother’s Day is one of the busiest days for restaurants and how he’s tired of the hoopla. “You can get into any restaurant on Father’s Day with no problem.”
That resonated with me long after we hung up. Why is it that children race home from school, eager to present their homemade cards and potted plants for mom and empty-handed in the middle of June for dad?

There are many schools in the Metro Detroit area that dismiss for the summer right before Father’s Day or are still in session after Father’s Day.Why can’t dad get any love on his special day? Well, there are two main reasons:

                                     FATHER’S DON’T CARE!


Father’s don’t make a big deal out of their holiday like mother’s do. A pat on the back is appreciated but not necessary.A good father is secure with his position, capability and responsibility. Point. Blank. Period.
                             ONE BAD APPLE SPOILED THE BUNCH!



The baby daddy phrase is so common now that I’m unsure if it’s still used as negative connotation or just for lack of better terms, like father.

Unfortunately, there are mothers and fathers alike who don’t appreciate the gift of parenthood and choose not to be a part of their children’s lives.

However, fathers are singled out more than absentee mothers. Instead of father’s day being recognized for its true intent, to acknowledge and appreciate the paternal parent, it has regrettably turned into a day to demean absentee fathers and put mothers on a pedestal who believe that they are doing a superior job of being both mother and father.

It is not uncommon nowadays for single mother’s to receive “happy father’s day” text messages and phone calls from their peers, in an attempt to magnify the fact that their child’s father isn’t present or isn’t living up to their standards of good parenting.

Instead of focusing so much on fathers being truant, we should honor the fathers, uncles, grandfathers and brothers who joyfully take an active role in a child’s life, whether it’s their child or someone else’s.

My biological father was a wonderful parent, even though he and my mother separated when I was four years old. He passed away in 2006 but I value all the efforts that he made from hundreds of miles away to show me the same love that he would have shown me if he were still in the household.

My step-father, whom I do call by name but recognize as my father, to adequately supply all the respect that he deserves, equally stepped up to the plate and assisted my mother in rearing me: educationally, financially and spiritually.

So thanks Mike, and thank you to all the fathers who don’t get recognize on Father’s Day or any other day.

Your efforts of love and commitment to your sons and daughters don’t go unnoticed. I

f you choose to dress to nines and be escorted out for an over-priced dinner or kick back with some lemonade at a classic car show, let’s do it.

It’s your day and we will never take it away from you again. 



The Dreaded Question.

wedding1The summer is almost here loves and of course love is in full bloom.

This is the season where many of us get wedding announcements or invites.

This is a very special time for many especially the bride and groom.

However, for a single gal like me it can be stressful.

It is not that I am not happy for  the  future Mr.and Mrs., it’s because I always get asked the dreaded question….


rolling eye gif

Ok Let me be quite honest with you…THAT QUESTION IRRITATES MY SOUL!!

Mainly because it reminds me that I am indeed not married yet.

It also reminds me that I am childless and not married!!!!!


Because of that hearing that darn gone question all the time it actually hits a sour spot in me.

I guess the reason is because this is not how I envision my life. 

I pictured myself being happily married with kids and a booming career.

We are living in a nice size house which hosts many holidays functions as well as barbecues.

I imagine my honey and I taking couple trips around the world a few times out the year to keep our marriage spicy(wink).

Of course a few family trips so the chicadees wouldn’t feel left out.

I had this elaborate dream on how I wanted my family life to look and its so far from it.

I do know our plan and Gods plan can differ drastically and sometimes we can mess up our future by mistakes and bad choices.

However, I often ponder did I miss out on my happily ever after chasing what I thought it was?


Did I not chose my husband because he was not what I picture him to be or am I dealing with men who are currently blocking him from claiming his spot?

All these thoughts have come in to my head as well as the bigger question….



I mean I do think I am an awesome woman.

A good catch for any man but truthfully if I am all that…again….WHY AM I SINGLE!?

So when I get asked the question ” Shyla why aren’t you married yet and what are you waiting on” it hits me to my core.

It’s a personal struggle I deal with daily because it is something I yearn and desire.

So if you are one of the individuals who like to asked single ladies why aren’t they married yet be mindful that is could well be a touchy subject to them.

Some of us are trying to do the right thing by not settling and making sure that we chose the right partner.

For some they get their happily ever after early in life while others like me we  get asked this question often until we do.