Hello Loves, how was your  Father’s Day? My sisters and I had a grand time with our father yesterday. I feel very blessed to have my father here. We haven’t always had the best relationship but we continue to work on it and that is what really matters. This  blog entry is something that has been nagging at me for a few weeks now. I wasn’t going to blog about it because this really has been run into the ground but it needs to be said.

The last month or so my community has suffered a lot of deaths. Some from violence, some from illness and others self-inflicted. When these kind of things happened we all usually say the same thing like ” Tell your people you love them while they are still here” this phrase is the most popular. Another one that is beginning to become popular is ” Check on your people!” This  phrase I believe comes from the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, two wealthy and seemingly happy individuals. There has been a lot a speculation on why they decided to take their own lives so I will not touch on that however I will asked you ” When is the last time you checked on your people?”

When was the last time you called a friend for no reason at all but just to see how they are doing?

When was the last time you offered a hand to a friend who is in need without being asked?

When was the last time you sent a text message saying ” I love you” without being prompted by something happening?

When was the last time you called to be a listening ear? No judgements, no comments…strictly to listen.

I think many of us (myself included ) are guilty of  not checking up on our people. We have to do better! Do not let the excuse of “well they do not check up me “stop you from checking up on them. Life has shown me that the only thing that matter is how we treat others and what we are doing in the present moment. The past is the past and we have to strive to be better people for the future. Check up on your people loves! You may make their day when you do!














The Dreaded Question.

wedding1The summer is almost here loves and of course love is in full bloom.

This is the season where many of us get wedding announcements or invites.

This is a very special time for many especially the bride and groom.

However, for a single gal like me it can be stressful.

It is not that I am not happy for  the  future Mr.and Mrs., it’s because I always get asked the dreaded question….


rolling eye gif

Ok Let me be quite honest with you…THAT QUESTION IRRITATES MY SOUL!!

Mainly because it reminds me that I am indeed not married yet.

It also reminds me that I am childless and not married!!!!!


Because of that hearing that darn gone question all the time it actually hits a sour spot in me.

I guess the reason is because this is not how I envision my life. 

I pictured myself being happily married with kids and a booming career.

We are living in a nice size house which hosts many holidays functions as well as barbecues.

I imagine my honey and I taking couple trips around the world a few times out the year to keep our marriage spicy(wink).

Of course a few family trips so the chicadees wouldn’t feel left out.

I had this elaborate dream on how I wanted my family life to look and its so far from it.

I do know our plan and Gods plan can differ drastically and sometimes we can mess up our future by mistakes and bad choices.

However, I often ponder did I miss out on my happily ever after chasing what I thought it was?


Did I not chose my husband because he was not what I picture him to be or am I dealing with men who are currently blocking him from claiming his spot?

All these thoughts have come in to my head as well as the bigger question….



I mean I do think I am an awesome woman.

A good catch for any man but truthfully if I am all that…again….WHY AM I SINGLE!?

So when I get asked the question ” Shyla why aren’t you married yet and what are you waiting on” it hits me to my core.

It’s a personal struggle I deal with daily because it is something I yearn and desire.

So if you are one of the individuals who like to asked single ladies why aren’t they married yet be mindful that is could well be a touchy subject to them.

Some of us are trying to do the right thing by not settling and making sure that we chose the right partner.

For some they get their happily ever after early in life while others like me we  get asked this question often until we do.



What Dreams May Come…..


selfie with the beautiful beach as my backdrop

Hello my loves. Let me first say that my thanksgiving was great. Anytime I get the chance to break bread with my beautiful family is a great day. I am thankful for that. Well a few weeks ago I went on the best vacation I have ever been on in my life. My cousin and I decided to travel to  Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. It was absolutely breathtaking. I mean that is the only way to describe how this country looks. Where we stayed was fabulous. Right of the white sand beach. I was less than 100 steps from the beach…. how convenient lol.


my view while relaxing on the beach


I been on many vacations but never a resort. For the first time I really felt relaxed. I didn’t have to hustle back to a hotel or see what we were doing for the day. I truly relaxed. It felt good to relaxed your mind where all you can hear is the ocean crash on the land over and over. It is has the most soothing sound.


walking along the beach


While on my trip I remember how I told a few people of my vacations plans and future vacations spots. Many of them stated…”That sounds great but that it something I would do with my mate”….hmmm. I can understand that to a certain extent. These places would be great couples vacations. I am sure lovers can appreciate and benefit from what these kind of vacations offer. I mean who wouldn’t want to travel with their boo. However, I am not going to let me not having a mate stop me from traveling  wherever I want to go.


outside of my room at the resort. I was ecstatic to be in such a beautiful place.


I also encourage each you to take on that mindset as well. Life is too short to wait on certain life events to happen for you to explore this beautiful world. This vacation was a dream come true. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect vacation. As I now make plans for next year adventure…..the beautiful country of Jamaica. I’ll do so without feeling bad or sad if by then I am still single.



I Miss My Ex……….

OK I am currently in Starbucks doing my homework. I have an online math class that is kicking my butt. Please do not asked why I decided to take an online math class. Well I will just tell you that it  was the only class available. I picked my classes a whole two weeks before the semester started so there wasn’t many options for me to choose from. I just asked that you pray for a chick lol. Anywho…I was studying the chapter I had homework on and a song by D’Angelo came on. I cannot even tell you the name of the song, however, that  song instantly made me think of my ex. It brought up feeling I guess I had suppressed these last few years. I truly thought I was over that chapter of my life. However, that song proved that I wasn’t and it made me incredibly sad. I was frozen the whole time the song played. I kept thinking….you cannot possibly be still hung up on a man who you HAVENT seen or talked to in YEARS. Well maybe I am not hung up . I think I am more sad than anything. I guess I am  sad because he has had many relationships since we broke up( I know because the first year of our break up I check his social page….sad I know …however I haven’t checked his  in years now). While I only had one and it lasted  six months. I ended it because I felt like he was into it. I wont waste your time if you don’t want what I want so I let him go. We are still great friends though. I guess I am also sad because of the plans we had and what an awesome team we would have made. He was only man I ever met that work harder than me. He worked 7 days a weeks 16 hours a day for months on end. Him being a worker was a huge turn on for me lol. I like men who work hard and who are good providers.I He was also very funny, intelligent, loving and just all around good guy. I guess  You may asked why we didn’t make it. I could tell you but it is just too much to write and explain. I guess as good as I THOUGHT we were the truth was we both out grew each other and did not communicate  like we should. Also us living  in two different states did not help us either. I guess many of us have those moments when you think…I wonder what would have happened if I said this or did that. Those questions popped in my head when that song played today and when the song ended I realize our break up happened for a reason. Thinking of the “what if’s” keeps me living in the past. I now understand that missing someone is not so bad but life moves on and so shall I. Maybe one day in the near future I will hear that song again and not have those feelings anymore.

Here is to wishing.