OK I am currently in Starbucks doing my homework. I have an online math class that is kicking my butt. Please do not asked why I decided to take an online math class. Well I will just tell you that it was the only class available. I picked my classes a whole two weeks before the semester started so there wasn’t many options for me to choose from. I just asked that you pray for a chick lol. Anywho…I was studying the chapter I had homework on and a song by D’Angelo came on. I cannot even tell you the name of the song, however, that song instantly made me think of my ex. It brought up feeling I guess I had suppressed these last few years. I truly thought I was over that chapter of my life. However, that song proved that I wasn’t and it made me incredibly sad. I was frozen the whole time the song played. I kept thinking….you cannot possibly be still hung up on a man who you HAVENT seen or talked to in YEARS. Well maybe I am not hung up . I think I am more sad than anything. I guess I am sad because he has had many relationships since we broke up( I know because the first year of our break up I check his social page….sad I know …however I haven’t checked his in years now). While I only had one and it lasted six months. I ended it because I felt like he was into it. I wont waste your time if you don’t want what I want so I let him go. We are still great friends though. I guess I am also sad because of the plans we had and what an awesome team we would have made. He was only man I ever met that work harder than me. He worked 7 days a weeks 16 hours a day for months on end. Him being a worker was a huge turn on for me lol. I like men who work hard and who are good providers.I He was also very funny, intelligent, loving and just all around good guy. I guess You may asked why we didn’t make it. I could tell you but it is just too much to write and explain. I guess as good as I THOUGHT we were the truth was we both out grew each other and did not communicate like we should. Also us living in two different states did not help us either. I guess many of us have those moments when you think…I wonder what would have happened if I said this or did that. Those questions popped in my head when that song played today and when the song ended I realize our break up happened for a reason. Thinking of the “what if’s” keeps me living in the past. I now understand that missing someone is not so bad but life moves on and so shall I. Maybe one day in the near future I will hear that song again and not have those feelings anymore.
Here is to wishing.